Marsh Madness

Since Ohio State has royally screwed my bracket, I think I’ll stick to a game I know I totally rock:  the “if you could eat one treif thing what would it be?” game.  You have undoubtedly played a version yourself.  Maybe you were at a bar (G-d's infinite wisdom made lots and lots of alcohol kosher) fantasizing over the establishment's menu.  Or maybe you were watching TV and a commercial for TGIFriday’s/Olive Garden/Chili’s/Papa John’s came on, complete with pornographic images. Or maybe you were on a road trip and the novelty of the “I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing ________” game had worn waaaay off. 

What's your One Thing?  While many jump to the cheeseburger, lobster and bacons of the world, I always play the Peeps card.  I don’t know if it’s the food coloring, the texture, or the uniform stance of the squat little chicks, but if G-d one day said, “You know what?  Forget that whole calf/mom’s milk shebang,” you can bet I’ll be knocking down the doors at Just Born Inc.

With Peeps, the possibilities are endless as exhibited in art, dance, sushi, and porn.  Peeps + chocolate milk + time = Peeps' counterpart.  The best kosher marshmallows have done is rolled themselves in coconut.  Big whoop.

This time of year is especially rough, with their beady black eyes buring a hole through to your soul in every grocery store and CVS, and the aforementioned coconut lame excuses are our only option.  Until....

OU-D!

Finally, the marshmallow walls dividing kosher and non-kosher consumers is slowly melting into a pile of Fluff.  Follow me on Twitter @PopKosher and join me in the fight for a gelatin free world!!