Marsh Madness

Since Ohio State has royally screwed my bracket, I think I’ll stick to a game I know I totally rock:  the “if you could eat one treif thing what would it be?” game.  You have undoubtedly played a version yourself.  Maybe you were at a bar (G-d's infinite wisdom made lots and lots of alcohol kosher) fantasizing over the establishment's menu.  Or maybe you were watching TV and a commercial for TGIFriday’s/Olive Garden/Chili’s/Papa John’s came on, complete with pornographic images. Or maybe you were on a road trip and the novelty of the “I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing ________” game had worn waaaay off. 

What's your One Thing?  While many jump to the cheeseburger, lobster and bacons of the world, I always play the Peeps card.  I don’t know if it’s the food coloring, the texture, or the uniform stance of the squat little chicks, but if G-d one day said, “You know what?  Forget that whole calf/mom’s milk shebang,” you can bet I’ll be knocking down the doors at Just Born Inc.

With Peeps, the possibilities are endless as exhibited in art, dance, sushi, and porn.  Peeps + chocolate milk + time = Peeps' counterpart.  The best kosher marshmallows have done is rolled themselves in coconut.  Big whoop.

This time of year is especially rough, with their beady black eyes buring a hole through to your soul in every grocery store and CVS, and the aforementioned coconut lame excuses are our only option.  Until....

OU-D!

Finally, the marshmallow walls dividing kosher and non-kosher consumers is slowly melting into a pile of Fluff.  Follow me on Twitter @PopKosher and join me in the fight for a gelatin free world!!

What Happens in Eruv, Stays in Eruv

March should be morphing into a lamb by now, but judging by the flurries this morning it's still quite lion-like.  This, perhaps is a good thing.  It gives these people more time to resolve this issue before beach season begins.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Thin Jew Line
www.thedailyshow.com

First they're pushing their kids.  Next they're pushing their orthodox agenda.

I believe the kosher bakery is Beach Bakery Cafe.  It's already begun.....

Two Degrees of Bacon

1.  Yesterday, Demi Kutcher Tweeted this picture of her and her husband celebrating Purim.   

They must have been attending Madonna’s Kabbalapalooza where Hollywood’s most spiritual gather in a ketoret-scented room, wear $26 red strings (that old woman at the Kotel is a marketing genius!), and raise their Kabbalah water glasses to toast Mordechai and Esther.

2.  And in opposite news, J&D’s Foods has reported via Facebook that a group of Orthodox British consumers protested not agunot, not the imprisonment of Gilad Shalit, but Baconnaise (OU Dairy) outside of a UK market.  While the official cause of their fury is unknown, I assume the issue is the product’s dairy status and resulting purposelessness.  

Esther Go Bragh

St. Patrick’s Day isn’t really a gentile holiday that Jews really care much about one way or the other.  Growing up, I just knew that there was one day a year that we didn’t wear green.  Pretty much all beer and Irish whiskey is kosher, so there are no strong feelings of envy from being excluded, and as far as Wikipedia tells me, St. Patty himself wasn’t particularly anti-Semitic (though he was a member of the Catholic Church in the 5^th century, so one can’t be so sure).  St. Patrick’s Day isn’t even usually incorporated into mid-March’s sitcom plots. Click this too.

But St. Patrick’s Day this year is particularly relevant, as I just learned that during every Jewish leap year (like this one), Purim falls during the same week (like this one).  So therein lies my segue.  Both are celebrated by drinking adloyada.  There used to be a bunch of Jews in Ireland and there still are a few.  Fleeing pogroms and such, immigrants from Lithuania found refuge there.  Famous Irish Jews include Daniel Day-Lewis, Daniel Radcliff (kind of), and Bono (just kidding).  And then there are the Israelis who celebrate the day in "Irish" pubs that are more Disney than Dublin.

So this Purim, in honor of our Irish brethren, fill your mishloach manot baskets with soda bread, potatoes, nips of Jameson, and other lucky charms.

I would be remiss if I didn't include The Maccabeats' adorable Purim video.  They just make my inner Stern girl squeal and cry.

Hiya, Toots!

I previously discussed the miracle that was the kosher certification of Junior Mints.  I am thrilled to share the latest news with you, straight from the OU.  I get these kashrut alerts often, but never are they as exciting as this!

What a relief it is to know that there is a Tootsie Pop for every occasion:

Watching your weight?  Tootsie Pop Mini

Really watching your weight?  Tootsie Pop Sugarless Mini

Snowing out?  Tootsie Hot Chocolate Pop

Simchat Torah?  Tootsie Caramel Apple Pop

Hate sticks?  Tootsie Pop Drops

This breaking news solves a lot, however the answer to one age old question, the world may never know...

Newly Certified

March 08, 2011

Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc.
Chicago, IL

Brand:	Tootsie Pop
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Banana Tootsie Pops, OU-D Blue Raspberry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Caramel Tootsie Pops, OU-D Cherry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Chocolate Tootsie Pops, OU-D Grape Tootsie Pops, OU-D Green Apple Tootsie Pops, OU-D Lemon Lime Tootsie Pops, OU-D Orange Tootsie Pops, OU-D Peppermint (Candy Cane) Tootsie Pops, OU-D Pomegranate Tootsie Pops, OU-D Raspberry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Sour Apple Tootsie Pops, OU-D Strawberry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Strawberry-Vanilla Tootsie Pops, OU-D Watermelon Tootsie Pops, OU-D Wild Apple Berry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Wild Black Berry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Wild Blue Berry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Wild Cherry Berry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Wild Mango Berry Tootsie Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Charms Blow Pops
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Cherry Blow Pops, OU-D Grape Blow Pops, OU-D Sour Apple Blow Pops, OU-D Strawberry Blow Pops, OU-D Watermelon Blow Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Charms Super Blow Pops
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Blue Raspberry Charms Super Blow Pops, OU-D Cherry Super Blow Pops, OU-D Grape Super Blow Pops, OU-D Sour Apple Super Blow Pops, OU-D Strawberry Charms Super Blow Pops, OU-D Watermelon Charms Super Blow Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Golden Delicious Caramel Apple Pops, OU-D Green Apple Caramel Apple Pops, OU-D Red MacIntosh Apple Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Hot Chocolate Pop
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Hot Chocolate Pop, OU-D

---

Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc.
Chicago, IL

Brand:	Tootsie Mini Pops - Natural Flavors
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Cherry Mini Pops, OU-D Chocolate Mini Pops, OU-D Grape Mini Pops, OU-D Orange Mini Pops, OU-D Raspberry Mini Pops, OU-D Strawberry Mini Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Mini Pops - Sugarless
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Chocolate Mini Pops, OU-D Grape Mini Pops, OU-D Raspberry Mini Pops, OU-D Strawberry Mini Pops, OU-D Tangerine Mini Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Pop Drops
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Blue Raspberry Drops, OU-D Cherry Drops, OU-D Chocolate Drops, OU-D Grape Drops, OU-D Orange Drops, OU-D Peppermint (Candy Cane) Drops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Pop Egg Shaped Easter Pops
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Cherry Tootsie Pops, OU-D Chocolate Tootsie Pops, OU-D Grape Tootsie Pops, OU-D Orange Tootsie Pops, OU-D Raspberry Tootsie Pops, OU-D
Brand:	Tootsie Pop Miniatures
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Cherry Miniatures, OU-D Chocolate Miniatures, OU-D Grape Miniatures, OU-D Orange Miniatures, OU-D Raspberry Miniatures, OU-D Sour Apple Miniatures, OU-D

---

Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc.
Chicago, IL

Brand:	Charleston Chew
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Charleston Chew Chocolate Flavored, OU-D Charleston Chew Strawberry Flavored, OU-D Charleston Chew Vanilla Flavored Juniors, OU-D Charleston Chew Vanilla Flavored Mini Chews, OU-D Charleston Chew Vanilla Flavored Mini Rollers, OU-D Charleston Chew Vanilla Flavored Original, OU-D
Brand:	Junior Caramels
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Junior Caramels Original, OU-D
Brand:	Junior Mints
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Junior Mints Christmas, OU-D Junior Mints Hearts, OU-D Junior Mints Inside Outs, OU-D Junior Mints Minis, OU-D Junior Mints Original, OU-D Junior Mints Pastels, OU-D Junior Mints Peppermint Crunch, OU-D
Brand:	Sugar Babies
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Sugar Babies Caramel Apple Flavored, OU-D Sugar Babies Holiday, OU-D Sugar Babies Original, OU-D Sugar Babies Pastels, OU-D
Brand:	Sugar Mama
Product(s):	Products must have OU-D on packaging. Sugar Mama Original

About 110,000 More Reasons to Love Google

How cool is this??  Google recently introduced a new feature to ye olde Google search:  Recipe View!  Upon discovery, I instantly searched "kosher."  In about 0.21 seconds, GRV churned out about 110,000 results.  Now that's a lot of kishka!  A lot, maybe.  Too much?  Never.

What will you search for?  Find something awesome?  Let's get the comments section cookin!

Why Is This Oscar Night Different From All Other Oscar Nights?

Photo courtesy of Bangitout.com.

Well, it wasn't really.  All the stars were out.  They won, they lost, they dropped the f-bomb.  But arguably, the highlight of last night's Academy Awards was Billy Crystal's presentation of Oscar host extraordinaire, Bob Hope's brilliance.

 

He might have been kidding, but this gave me a very serious reminder that Passover is coming!  

Every year kosher for Passover science and technology, I mean culinary mastery, yield astonishing leavened lookalikes (though many are cardboard tastealikes).  KosherToday.com estimates that nearly 400 new products will debut this Passover season.  K-for-P bagels, pasta, and pancake mix already exist, so I cannot wait to see what else can possibly top those.

I got a small taste yesterday at ShopRite.  It's not even Purim yet, and already they are stocking the shelves with old Passover staples, and new Passover innovations.  The Passover section was technically barricaded off, but I couldn't help but try to get a good look and find which Passoverized food product will win the coveted golden statue for Best Chametz Actor in a Pesadik Role (Roll?!).  Last year's winner was a box of pareve macaroni and cheese.  This year, these two macaroon pie crusts are serious contenders. 

 

 Both are Manischewitz OUP pareve.

The sweet elegance of smushing macaroons into a pie plate makes me wish I thought of it myself, but the convenience of someone else doing it for you is also pretty sweet.  Plus, no matter what you fill them with, it's guaranteed to be better than some of the chocolate-covered sawdust confections so popular around this holiday.  Though time will tell if they take home the prize, its an honor just to be nominated.

"Just let me finish my coffee... then we'll go watch them slice this fat bastard up."

It was only a matter of time before we devoted space to Seinfeld.  Food, practically the fifth cast member, is as significant an aspect of the legendary show as nothing itself.  For the most part, the show’s food references are pretty kosher (marble rye, pretzels, Mendy's).  But however much nachas Kramer’s tempting schmear of authentic Jewish delicacies brought us, we always beat our chest over one particular treif treat:  The Junior Mint.  Possibly the most Seinfeldian candy reference is chocolate, peppermint, delicious, and now kosher.  That’s right Mulva, OU-D!  

Pez - Paskesz brand, Jujy Fruit - OU Pareve, Clark Bar - OU-D, Chunky - OU-D,  

Twix - OU-D, Oh Henry! - OU-D.

Fun fact to drop at Joe Mayo's next party, if you're not too busy policing his aquarium:  a Peppermint Pattie was used for filming the surgery scene as a Junior Mint was too small for the camera.



**Special thanks to my favorite singing health care digital marketer for his investigative reporting. 

Barefoot Balabusta

Remember when the only place to find cooking shows was PBS, and when the only cooking shows on PBS were reruns of The French Chef (that voice!), The Frugal Gourmet (that beard!), and Yan Can Cook (those knife skills!)?  Well with the undeniable boom of the cooking show genre, and the subsequent births of TV star chefs, I find it curious that kosher food is so underrepresented.  Sure, Marc Summers has unwrapped a pastrami sandwich on camera, and brisket has had it’s time in the spotlight being competitively smoked by teams called "Bubba-Q Brothers" and "Hog & Kisses."  In the sea of highly-specific themed cooking and food-related shows out there (coming up next: A Gluten For Punishment, followed by Vegan Diva and Living in the Raw), why no Shabbos on a Shoestring, Pareve Paradise (vegan!), or Barefoot Balabusta? 

Last night I caught an episode of Ina Garten’s (née Rosenberg) Barefoot Contessa entitled “International Pasta” where she featured recipes spanning the globe from China's Szechuan region, to Italy with a layover in Poland.  

If you look super closely, you can see the unmistakable orange and green Manischewitz logo on the egg noodles (OU pareve).

Though technically her's is a recipe similar to my own mother's dairy kugel recipe (subbing sour cream, cottage cheese and crushed pineapple for Ina's half-and-half, ricotta and raisins), I don't know, there just seems something foreign about her preparation.  I bet it's the bain-marie.

Not Just A Pretty Loaf

I’ve fallen in love with a bimbo.  A total package:  blue eyes, button nose, adorable smile, modeling gig, and tons of kosher pride.  Here is my bimbo on a billboard on westbound I-76.

That speck under the loaf reads "Kof-K Pareve"

I love when exotic products bear (no pun intended) kosher symbols, but conspicuous central placement on giant outdoor advertising just goes above and beyond.  Okay, white bread might be the opposite of exotic, but this long E sound Mexican brand’s international status and quirky name choice up the exotic ante.  I’m sure Bimbo is a perfectly cute marketing move in Mexico, but loses something in translation.  Just ask any Israeli named Dudu or Osnat. 

This bimbo is also athletic.  Bimbo Bakeries just announced its sponsorship of Major League Soccer’s Philadelphia Union.  If this doesn’t get Americans to start caring about soccer, I simply don’t know what will.

And so in celebration, I propose a toast to my favorite bimbo with, well, toast!  Go get a jar of Smuckers preserves (OU Pareve) and enjoy OK Go’s golden brown video.  

Life In The Matrix

If we were to plot some recent news on a New York magazine style PopKosher Approval Matrix, where Highbrow and Lowbrow scale the Y-axis and Brilliant and Despicable span the X-axis, it might look something like this:

Last week, celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton toured the homeland with his mother and blogged about it in a 5-part series.  Part 5 is the best, but do yourselves a favor and don’t read the comments.  Always the polite and genteel country, Israel reciprocated with some of that famous Middle Eastern hospitality. 

Typically his obnoxious, crass comments about celebrities and doodles on their unflattering paparazzi shots are the trash reserved for the workday afternoon doldrums.  But, his solid hasbara has earned him a firm spot near Brilliant.

And in the other corner we have Jewish darling, Natalie Hershlag/Portman who recently announced her shotgun wedding to Benjamin Millepied.  Her failure to swallow the red pill, the blue pill, or The Pill has given her a bellyful of trouble and earned her a spot in the northwest quadrant of The Matrix.  We are shocked!  This is so not the Natalie we don’t know at all and have never spoken to.  Regardless, mazel tov!

But this is PopKosher and not PopIsrael or PopIntermarriage.  So here is Natalie keeping it kind of kosher on Top Chef last year when she guest judged an all-vegetarian challenge.  She eats clean, but her mind is dirty.  Maybe we shouldn't be so surprised after all.