Oy To The World - Part I

True story:  A handful of years ago I asked my mom if we celebrated Christmas, what she would cook.  Logically, she answered that since we’d probably have a lot of people over she would likely make a kugel.  And so my fascination with the kosherfication of Christmas began. 

Last month I established that Thanksgiving was the highlight of the PopKosher year for the holiday’s innate Jewishness, and Jews’ ability to participate fully.  This month, I submit that Christmas is the other highlight of the PopKosher year for the complete opposite reason.  Despite there being absolutely nothing Jewish about Christmas and its celebration in America today, we can innocently participate anyway.*  Okay maybe not nothing.  There are the producers of those TV Christmas specials, the writers and composers of the classic Christmas songs, and well, Jesus himself.  Since Jesus was a nice Jewish boy, I’m sure he would appreciate all of the kosher ways to celebrate his birthday.

So, since ‘tis the season to make lists and check them more than once, I present to you my

Top Ten X-mas X-picks.

One 

Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree Cakes

Triangle-K Dairy

  

 A favorite since childhood, these arboreal treats remind me of a simpler time and place.  Even the white waxy coating, I mean frosting, is sweet nostalgia.  

Two

Holiday Tea

Various

Many fine tea purveyors come out with holiday teas around Christmas time and just about all of them are absolutely delicious.  Celestial Seasoning's holiday selection includes flavors like Sugar Plum Spice and Candy Cane Lane.  Also like drinking a hug is Bigelow's selection.  Kosher certified tea is pretty common, however the interesting tidbit here is that the holiday tea pictured above is actually Kof-K dairy.  Dairy tea!?  Who has ever heard of such a thing?

Three

Family Time

I love spending time with my family, but one of the best parts of the holiday season is when Christmas celebrators take time off of work to spend time with their families.  Since the office parking lot is practically empty, it's the most wonderful time of the year for front-row parking.  This generally slows the work day, leaving time for more important things, like list-making.

Four

Automated Cheer Dispensing
OU Dairy

 Look at this jubilant display of holiday spirit!  You don't see it?  Second shelf from the bottom.  Fifth and sixth bottles from the left. 

Egg nog!  Bryne Dairy's sweet, creamy delight available at the touch of a button.  I kept it the mini fridge and added it to my morning coffee :)

Five

Green Bean Casserole
Pareve

 

Flip through any holiday issue of Better Homes and Gardens and you'll see that no goyishe holiday feast is complete without the classic green bean casserole.  A quick Food Network search yields 100+ results.  Though nothing is inherently treif about the recipe (green beans, milk, condensed cream of mushroom soup, salt, pepper, French's fried onions), since most holiday feast include some kind of meat focal-point, a dairy side dish (just like dairy tea) just won't do.  I've discussed the wonder of Imagine Foods before, but this time I'm talking about their Creamy Portobello Mushroom soup (OU Pareve).  In an act of dairy deception, use Imagine's soup thickened with a roux to give the dish a pleasantly pareve creaminess.

Stayed tuned for Part II...!

*By no means am I endorsing Jews' religious participation in Christmas, but even Joe Scroogewitz can find some pleasure in the holiday season.  And plus, I don't discriminate.  If it's certified kosher, I'll eat it no matter what shape it's molded into or color foil it's wrapped in.  Deep down, chocolate Santa is just chocolate.